randomness: releasing the mute button

i spent the afternoon
with my mother in the arts
we have no physical blood relation
but i look into her eyes
and see myself
there is a knowingness between us
it's strange with no need of explanation
it is
and i love it

i talked with my cosmic twin brother
late last week (literally late at night and late in the week)
shortly after the breakup with my significant other
i hear his voice for the first time since june
i hear myself
and the knowingness remains between us
it's strange with no need of explanation
it is
and i love it

friday night i was double booked
planned on making it to both gigs
it didn't work out that way
(massive apologies to black gay pride in nashville)

i was a part of a show that recreated
marvin gaye's 'what's going on' album from start to finish
and i have to say that aside from singing with my mentor
reba rambo-mcguire
it is the most significant performance i have ever been a part of

something happened when i got on that stage
and i felt something i hadn't felt for a long time:
a pure unadulterated love of the music
it made me forget bad business deals
relationships gone awry within the business
jealousy, player haters (yes, i used that word), and severe disappointment

all i felt was an intense love for melody and lyric
and that love superceded me
i felt my muses--and yes, isis--
coursing through my vocal chords
whispering...
move on up a little higher...
and i did

i collage with pam and jerry on sunday
i envision my new home in nyc...
i have to leave before they are done
i wonder what they dream mapped
i can't wait to see

i lunch with midori
we converse on love and dreams
the irony of loving a soulmate
and being unable to be with them
by your own volition

i talk with my brother arthur
as we brainstorm this transition to nyc
that is a little less than 2 months away
and i feel a tingle of excitement
my mute button is coming off
as yoko said
i'm opening my box
the lid is being lifted from off of the butterfly

dreams are coming true at last
words have meaning again